Life at UCB through the eyes of our international student bloggers

Stop sabotaging yourself

Stop sabotaging yourself

Self-sabotaging behaviour can come in many different kinds, ranging from procrastination to over-indulgence. Whatever kind of self-sabotaging behaviour it is, these behaviours somehow stop you from moving forward in life.

It’s a complicated issue and no solution provided is an easy fix to this problem, but that should not be a discouragement from overcoming it. It will be a challenge, but it is the key to being able to beat the enemies within ourselves.

Fear and the need for perfection seems to be the cause for this kind of behaviour. It drives us away from getting what we actually want, and we do it unconsciously. In a way, it’s also a defence mechanism to uncertainty and pain.

We often expect pain when there is uncertainty in the air and this uncertainty can sometimes be too overwhelming for some people. Usually, that’s what catalyses self-sabotaging behaviours. They may predict that things will not go as planned so it demotivates them from pursuing their goal or they may start to think that they don’t deserve to go after it.

“If it can’t be perfect the way I see it would be, why should I even try?”

For some, this is a way for them to feel like they are in control of the situation. Nobody likes it when everything seems like it’s spiralling out of control. By accepting in advance that things are not going the way we wanted, we feel like we have the control over our own failure even when we don’t want it to happen.

Some of you may be familiar with the term ‘impostor syndrome’ which is associated with self-sabotaging, especially when it comes to feeling undeserving of success. People who lack self-confidence often doubt their worth and capabilities. Doubting ourselves could limit us from achieving our full potential.

The way we treat ourselves through words, thoughts and actions plays a significant role in the way we build our trust in ourselves. If we constantly tell ourselves that we are not good enough to get what we want, our minds will start to believe this negative thought and we would unconsciously act accordingly. Therefore, it is important to identify the initial signs of self-sabotaging behaviours to prevent us from over-indulging these negative thoughts or feelings.

Fear has this ability to affect the way we think rationally. Understandably, people with anxiety and overthinking tendencies would most of the time be biased in the way they think because it is induced by fear. If the source of this fear can be recognised and properly understood, it would be the first step to achieving their goals in whatever they do. This difficult step is the stepping stone to their unstoppable and relentless achievements in life.

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